Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize