this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
