How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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