I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
