so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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