Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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