sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
