i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
