she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell