Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility