I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?