So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.