it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
