Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
