Dual....:-)
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
