Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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