is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
