birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
