I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
