Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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