It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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