Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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