And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
