i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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