3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
