I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
