I can tuck mytits in my pants
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
