Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
