Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
