Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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