My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize