Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
