their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
