Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
