Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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