dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have post one night stand depression
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