I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
