ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
