he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
