it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
