bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
