I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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