idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
