I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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