my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
