just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
handjob tips. give me some.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
