what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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