you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
