Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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