why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
