woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
