dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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