i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
