between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
