Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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