her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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