So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We named our party play list daddy issues
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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