Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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