Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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