his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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