She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
