Do you still have your period?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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