Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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