Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
