why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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