I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
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What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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