I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
