nut hugger
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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