I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
