"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
