i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
