This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
