It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
