OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
