what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
